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el-nubster:

brittanymichael:

chainsawpunk:

chainsawpunk:

how much lube do you need for anal ? ?

a buttload

Lol

HA!  the only valid LOL

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thebobblehat:

murasaki-sama:

abbygubler:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

the fuck kind of romeo and juliet is this 

the best kind. I’d watch a movie about that. (sex scene must be included)

Forgive Me Father, rated R

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puppetmasternaegi:

2xpistolsandawink:

nottheshepardyourelookingfor:

aktwerkthatbooty:

Jesus Christ.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE.

I just hurt myself laughing

Jesus, you JESUS.

OH MY GOD

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n0t-quite-n0rmal:

deansass:

my teacher sent a student home today because the student had had an anxiety attack earlier in the morning and she said “if you have a broken bone, you don’t just keep walking on it and damaging it more, you treat it. Your mental health is the same. Health then school.” 

I was about to get really angry but it took a different turn than I expected
we really need more teachers like this 
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okoenig:

do you ever get those pangs of anxiety where you feel like nobody likes you and nobody will ever like you and you will achieve nothing

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mstoph:

my milkshakes bring all the boys are the yard and they’re like “your friend is hot”

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jlbeattys:

50 shades of shut the fuck up about this book i’ve read better smut written by virgin teenagers for free

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